It was 8 am. Really a bit early for a phone call if you ask me. I was not allowed to call any of my friends until after 10 am. My parents said that was a respectful time to call. So I was in slumberland when my iPhone rang. I was going to ignore it until I looked at the phone and recognized the number. My office.
I answered without a word. “Are you alive? Or is this the police answering this call. If so where do we go to claim the body?” It was Jaine, my office manager and all around organized goddess. Her paper clips were organized by size and colour in little compartments. Her favourite day of the year is when she gets to pick the file folder colour. We were buying a lot of labeler cartridges. That’s because EVERYTHING was labeled. I typed out “labeler” and put it on my labeler. You know, just in case she was wondering what it was.
Jaine’s hair was cut like a boy, blunt and short, and for a month last fall she said she was “growing it out” which lasted a month. Then her new haircut was even shorter than normal. Take that hair!
“Oh hello Jaine. I am alive. But there may be people after me since I am in possession of perhaps drug money or I may be live streamed as some type of social experiment. Either way I have a lot of money and a gun. What’s new at the office?”
“While your drug money and gun story is interesting. Oh wait a minute... It isn’t interesting. So while your drug money and gun story is not interesting there is a pressing matter of a company back here in Alberta that I believe you may want an update on.”
“Is it going well?,” I asked.
“It is going well. Better truthfully without you. But some clients are wondering why you are not showing up to meetings and such things. Mid-life crisis?”
“Naaa. Truthfully I don’t know what I’m doing here but I am paid up at my hotel for a month. So I can be back in the saddle in mid-July if that works. I have a lot of money to spend between now and then. The drug money. Or social experiment.”
“There is one thing I should tell you about though. We were hacked. Our website. I had your friend Jules come in and look at the hack. Nothing really stolen. Nothing to really take. But we were hacked.
I guess hackers leave a calling card in the code. They left a note for you, called you by name in the code left some type of…well…secret message?”
“And I’m afraid to ask…”
“The message was your name and a woman’s name.”
“Let me guess. Ethel?”